The "My Wife's a Wavehog Blog"

Happy New Year!!

2009-01-02T23:38:00.001-08:00

Happy New Year to anyone who is still checking this blog!!!

We are sorry that we've totally slacked off with the posting and have turned to facebook for ease of uploading pics and videos! Blogging takes bloody ages, and time is fun (not money) on Maui :)

So if you've not already, please become our friends on facebook to follow the fun :) !! There is still plenty going on........

Lisa, Darien, Ulli and I spent New Years Day 2009 swimming with literally hundreds of dolphins in Lanai. So we're gonna make our final post about the New Year Lanai adventure.

We took our friends boat to the "Pineapple Isle" to camp and see in the New Year.

Ulli gets creative with the (waterproof) camera.

Snorkeling around this shipwreck was the first stop. Darien and Ulli decided to scale the 40 foot bugger to check out the concrete deck, kitchen, freezer room and other erie areas of the 1940's tanker.

One should always take the time for a wee stop to admire the views.

This deserted beach was our surf spot.... looks like a picture from the 70's! What a sweet ride our rental truck was, until we tried to get it back up the hill.

With the lack of surf, we had to find an alternative source of amusement. I can confirm I have whiplash from the stunts pulled in this shorebreak.

And as if it couldn't get any better, we saw a whale breach not 200 yards from our boat on our way home to Maui. What a life! Enjoy yours.....

Wishing all of you the best year ever!! Happy 2009 !!!!!!!!!!

Farewell Marielle

2008-10-19T13:04:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a long time since I've put anything on the blog. I've been doing the Facebook thing recently. The pictures just take too long to upload on this blog and I don't have the patience.

Unfortunately on a really sad note we lost a good friend last week, Marielle. She died in her sleep last week. We had a beautiful sunset ceremony for her on Baby Beach.

Aloha Marielle, we will miss you.

A week in SF

2008-08-18T23:51:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a work week in SF ... my first visit to California that lasted more than an overnight in a grotty airport hotel. I was stoked to be visiting SF actually, as I'd heard it's a really nice city. So under the pretense of work, and a paid ticket, I packed my bag (plural on the way home!) and trotted off for a week in silicone valley! You choose your type of silicone......

One gorgeous, impecably kept home after another line the streets of Palo Alto, my base camp for the week, where I roughed it out o

n baked beans and Ambrosia Devonshire Custard (catered in just for me!). This is the historic house of Palo Alto, built in 1912 (or so), and typically American. Wonder where the flag is though?

I did actually work pretty hard (in comparison to the usual schedule anyway), but I took every opportunity to get out and explore the area. My daily morning run took me all over town, and usually after a few blocks I would inadvertantly end up back at the house - ground hog day. Anyway, I decided to check out Stanford Uni on one of those runs and couldn't believe it! First I thought I'd turned up at the University Church.

All the buildings were impressive actually. Go to a Uni in the UK, and you won't be seeing anything like this. Mind you, you'll also save yourself about $30K.

Another run took me past the Tesla dealership. I just had to take a picture, and thought if I made a tit of myself, I'll put on my best British accent and attempt to look like Royalty. This is a custom made car, and perhaps one of the dudes behind it is the customer??

Interestingly the only dealerships that had not shut down on this particular stretch of road were the Tesla and Fararri showrooms - do those cars run off chip fat now too??

What I have noticed when I visit different places, is a need to get out into open space. All the neighborhoods with their lovely tree lined streets make me somewhat claustrophobic and so a trip up to Portola Valley was just what I needed.

Ahh, space, nature and a view (I inherited the view obsession from my dad I think. Sadly the view picture of the valley will not upload!) ... almost as good as getting the gills wet in the ocean!

Next post will be of my adventures in San Fran, stay tuned........

D-Bauterous Weekend

2008-07-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

In Oahu, with Darien T-Shirts. Lots of photos, apologies for any inappropriate pictures, but the whole weekend was entirely inappropriate! Here's most of the group, we were all booked on different flights, we were all late, missed our flights and ended up on the same bloody plane! And so it begins ......

Days ran into nights ran into days without any real distinguishment! (is that a word?). So where do I start? OK I know, lets start from the beginning. Darien fancied going to Oahu to get the friends together to celebrate his birthday (which we later find is not for a few weeks, so hopefully we don't have to do this again!??) The idea is to go to the water park and ride the "flow rider" standing wave. The idea sounds good, everyone is in. Then a friend does skydiving in Oahu, idea sounds great, everyone is in. Then another friend mentions strip club, idea sounds wonderful, everyone is in. And so now we have a full on adventure weekend.

Off the plane and d-irectly to the waterpark for the flow rider.

My toes only technique had some faults.......

Steve found sticking his arse out as far as he could, helpful.

Darien suited up for some serious flume action, whilst co-pilot Lisa fills him in on the final strategy.

As night fell, the beers flowed - night number one.... easing into it at Dukes.

Day number 2, and everyone was having a number 2 (in their pants) before jumping out of the plane at 14,000 feet! Juan didn't sleep for 2 days and we told him bad weather was closing in and he was probably going to die.

The boys practice their technique.

Lisa enjoys being "strapped in"

Things get adventurous, and we make further plans for our jump.

Everyone does it, everyone freaks out because it was so awesome! Leaping out of a plane that high, hurling to the earth at 120mph and blasting through clouds was just insane :-) Here we come.....!

Sunset beers at the beach were called for to celebrate another brilliant day.

As night fell, the pranks began and the ABC store crawl was well underway. We ended up not only closing down several of these ABC (renamed) "bars", the strip club and some very local club somewhere in Waikiki. By 3:30am I bailed, but half the group soldiered on to close down a few more places and get run over by a passing car.

Wes looks like he just got hit by a car, but actually that came several hours later at dawn. Juan is grabbing imaginary boobs - thoughts of good times to come, Lisa & D concentrate on drinking and Steve is quietly counting his $1's......

So day 3 was a beach, and hair of the dog at the bar day. Darien get's baptized .....

And is then miraculously able to fly over water...

Only to decide over a few more beers, that we should extend our stay for one more night to drink more beer! Horahh! Rodrigo and buddies joined us and we celebrated his bachelor party by doing the same thing again. No pictures ... fortunately, camera broke again (#9 for those who are counting).

Thankfully we stayed in a pretty seedy hotel, and we blended into the ambience perfectly. We would have been ejected from anywhere decent.

Well, it's Wednesday and Ulli is still hungover! I still have laughter hangover, my stomach muscles are sore. So till next weekend for the re-union! Viva La Vagine!

All photo credits go to Mr Walger which is why he is rarely seen in this post!

3rd Annual Naish Paddleboard Race

2008-07-14T23:23:00.000-07:00

Was yesterday and thank god the wind showed up for one day, coz we'd all still be out there if it didn't! The race is from Maliko Gulch to Kahului harbor - 9.54 miles total for Paddleboards and Stand up boards.

http://www.mauinews.com/pdf/news/505934_1.pdf

Dave Kalama kicked some serious ass and came in first in 1 hour 6 mins - insane. He probably went back and did it again before we all arrived (actually he probably just kicked back and had a few cold ones). Andrea kicked some more ass in the ladies division - a hardcore time of 1 hour 23 mins, beating most men.

For full results http://www.mauipaddleboard.com/race.php?title=results_2008

We dispensed of the waterproof camera due to "extra weight concerns", so I attach photos shot by Julia from the Helicopter above. Which was another blessing as it provided more wind from the blades and helped to push me along to the harbor.

Feeling a bit rough from the stomach bug the night before, I decided to go for it anyway as at least there was wind, and there were 200 people signed up and ready to go ... hard to say no to that.

Anyway, we had a blast and everyone had their own personal competition going on. Wes was racing against Dave Kalama for at least the first 2 feet of the race, Ulli was up against John Smalley, Danny was going for the kill with me and I was watching and racing John Chiu the whole way.

The ceremony after was a good excuse to rehydrate with a few sports drinks (beers). I think we swept up gold, silver and bronze in that division! Great day as expected!

D-Tours does Makawao

2008-07-06T23:37:00.000-07:00

(Last weekend part 2). D = Darien, knows Maui better than I know my own arse. This guy finds the most killer hikes, bikes and adventures on the island, and then invites the core group (of which we are proud members, there was quite an inaugaration, but we can't give details) to share in his D-light. D-Tours is aptly named because we are usually detouring the long and wrong way around Maui from dawn till dusk. In fact, as as his wife Lisa will attest to, sometimes the day has unexpectedly turned into night, and then day again! OOOpps, not happened to us...... yet!

The man himself, "D"

And his thoughts about trespassing signs. I think this is actually how he finds his hikes, by following Keep Out signs.

And so we begin. Lisa with more than a mild hangover on D-Day, not a good way to start.

First we bike through some mud.

Along to a metal gate, more keep out signs and some barbed fencing .......

And then onto some narrow water shed pipe covering with a few 4ft plus drops off the side.

Stop and enjoy the view on a particularly beautiful and clear day.

Carry on over some rickety bridges

Tie off some rope and climb down a steep mud hill and into a cave.

Once in said cave, slide over rocks with torches, and down to a waterfall. Launch your friend off the waterfall to discover how deep the water below is. He pops up, no broken bones, so we all follow, with dogs. Water in kin freezing. Skin is now burning and numb (this is still Maui!), follow the faint light at the end of the lava tube, through the cold water and out into .... Jurassic Park!

And pose for a group shot

Admire the view, hang out, turn around and go back through freezing cold water in cave, climb up steep hill and throw some mud at people.

At this point, just when you thought D could not be anymore prepared, he whips out his camping stove, coffee and water purifier and proceeds to make everyone Kona coffee mocchas. D-licious!

After a feast on everything from trail mix to hard boiled eggs....

We return to the cars and sit on the most comfortable asphalt I have ever had the pleasure of westing my weary arse on.

Grrreat day, D-Tours D-lights again! (Apologies for the poor photo quality, it just takes too long to upload the decent pixel pics. It would be next weekend before I got them up for the post)

Awesome weekend... part one

2008-07-02T00:42:00.000-07:00

The weekend was so good, we'll have to make a couple of posts (we also go our camera back .... again! 8th warranty camera so we have been taking photos) It was flat and hot, with no wind on a mid summer's day. A perfect time to get out the speedboat! Bloody hell we are just spoilt these days. I used to save such a day for catching up with chores or doing housework, but now the car goes through a car wash, the laundry piles up and the house just doesn't get done! And I'm completely stoked with this scenario.

Boat, Beers, Blow up toys, Boards and Buddies - all you need for a bloody good time.

OHHH YEAAAAHHH!

5 reasons to Kite

2008-06-24T01:08:00.000-07:00

1. Entertain the beach by throwing tricks in the shorebreak ..... in flat, & otherwise boring water.

2. Getting big air ..... from flat, & otherwise boring water.

3. Boosting huge air over a bunch of rocks ..... off flat, & otherwise boring water.

4. Throwing down some spray.... ..... in flat, & otherwise boring water.

5. Cute guys on the beach and ..... on flat, & otherwise boring water.

Props to Wes for throwing it down in a 10 minute photo shoot and not looking too bored as we re-live our remedial kiting experiences in the post kite beach expression session.

Summer Surf's Up!

2008-06-20T00:24:00.001-07:00

Wow, what a great swell! The decent waves lasted almost a week and we have been enjoying the ride!

If you double click on this photo, check out my wig!

Stand up is fun, but the boards are a bitch to carry.

I was enticed back to the beach.... To find Oly checking his Linford Christie "Lunchbox" was still in tact! (still not sure about the pertruding black string??)

And clearly "expressing himself" on and off the water.

OK, look at the tan lines - he doesn't only wear this kit on the water (phew!) Apparently it just keeps everything "in place" under the wet suit. His wife says "but just because it's on the blog does not mean that this kind of wear is acceptable!" in a Swiss accent ;-) agreed Renata, agreed!

The real reason I came back to the beach....

Getting creative with beer & camera (Ulli of course)

Do we get a tax cut if we surf?

Finally, one of my fav waves firing last week. Here comes a set .....

A surfer is covered up, this time by whitewater.

Living like millionaires ..... only the bank manager knows were missing a few 0000's

Streak Out!

2008-06-08T23:26:00.000-07:00

Coming from England, one would think that I would at least have an understanding of cricket. Sadly the only knowledge that I have of the game is that people streak to break up the boredom.

Imagine my delight when I found out that our good friend Aussie Matt was arranging a cricket match with a team from Honolulu. Never would I have thought that I'd be watching my first ever game of cricket in Maui, let alone streaking through it! Although the game was pretty serious, they took it like great sportsmen!

Danny didn't have the balls, figuritively speaking, to join me on the pitch.

So I had to go solo.

AAAAAAnd gotcha Ausssie!

Apparently some of the teammates thought my boobs were real!

And finally the real reason why people watch cricket.

Sunday "Fun Raiser"

2008-06-03T23:33:00.000-07:00

Summer on the north shore is as flat as my chest, but that's nothing to get down about. It's actually one of the things I love about Maui .... there is always something to do here no matter what. We had a bumper day last Sunday Funday completing the triathalon of summer fun activities.

First up, a mountain bike ride in my favorite place, Makawao Forest. It was beautiful up there and my good friend Renata from Switzerland braved my crap, Paia dirt crusted bike and clip on shoes that were too big for her in the name of fun, to experience the forest. We had a blast. And we are waiting for her picture to post .... ;-)

Next up the SUP downwinder, which has become something of a ritual every Sunday. Everyone with a board is welcome and we set off from Tavares at 1pm and head down the coast to Kite Beach. Check out GP's blog http://mauisurfreport.blogspot.com/ for the full story and some great pics with his Go Pro camera (GP, am I up for royalties if I mention how well the pictures turned out, the incredible color, the comfort of the wrist strap and the handy size of the Go Pro on this blog? ;-)

The first pictures demonstrates how the key to stand up paddling is all in the technique.

Or if that fails, flash your boobs and men will let you pass them by as you cruise effortlessly (and in first place) to the finish line.

After arriving at an alarmingly fast pace to kite beach, due to the strong winds and laughs along the way, I hardly noticed paddling; it was time for a couple of cold ones. A bit of dutch courage to get me out on the kite and kick start my 40ft+jumping career. I'm always up for it after a few pints. I owe forward looping on a windsurfer purely and simply to beer, glorious beer.

And now I also owe it to beer for my broken board.

Oh well, I'll just have another beer :-)

Last 2 months

2008-05-20T00:38:00.000-07:00

Oh My God! 2 months is right. What have we been doing???? Wish I could tell ya, but 'm sure it was fun :-)

Here are some highlights, we'll let the pictures do the talking .....

First up, the out of season firing south swell was awesome. Barrel me baby (says Ulli).

What an epic couple of days.

Then some friends from Switzerland/Gurnsey arrived and the BBQ schedule got busy.

Then an out of season north swell showed up, and the wind dropped .... what a treat! Sorry no pictures of this swell, too busy surfing.

Throw in a couple of beautiful Maui hikes (bushwhacking down a cliff to get to these falls actually ... our hikes are not everyone's cup of tea!)

A talented Brazillian snowboarder prepared an amazing feast of fish wrapped in banana leaves and cooked over open coal and hot rocks in a sand pit on the beach .... heaven! The musicians busted out their instruments for entertainment, and the full moon made this Sunday(6th year!) Anniversary night exquisite!

I think there was a bit of work inbetween all of this, but it's a distant memory ;-)

Kiting is fun!

2008-03-25T00:11:00.000-07:00

Had my first day out at lanes today. The sets, well, there were no sets if I was considering surfing or windsurfing; but with just learning the waves on a kite, they were good enough! Some chest-ies were coming through and I had a blast. I've got one 6m cult from Naish, and I have not had more than 2 days when I couldn't use it. These new kites have such a range, I just love them. It was super east and gusty today, but nothing the kite couldn't handle!

Climbing in and out of the reef attached to a kite is gnarly and I don't fancy it much, but there is no other way. Luckily my trusty kite friend Wesssss was there to help and babysit. Kiters are cool.

Only have one pic taken at Naish beach, so here it is .......

Foiled Again

2008-03-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

We have the best friends. I think we are very selective when it comes to choosing who we hang out with. The criteria usually goes something like this:

- do you have a boat?
- do you have a foil board?
- do you have a wake board?
- do you mind if we come?

Just kidding, we're not that shallow ... honest!! But we are bloody lucky that our friends do have all of the above!! We have been having great times lately, enjoying everything from foiling to whale watching on this nippy bayliner of our buddies Steve & Wes.

My partner in maritime crime, Lisa and I have been not so secretly training to get the boat in and out of the water, tow it and drive it ourselves, so that we can be independent to use it at anytime. It's going well, we have passed all tests except for forgetting a few important details. Like we forgot to put the plug in when entering the boat into the water (!!!); and then to raise the engine on the way out (!!!). Luckily we had our mentors watching out, as you only make those mistakes once. At least I can do the most important part with my eyes shut, as demonstrated here ... filling the cooler with beer!

Here's boat owner Steve showing his foiling skills, he's got the bucking bronko tamed like putty in his hands.

Just look at the view of the West Maui's in the background! .... err I mean looking great Steve!

On the other hand, I do not! It kicks me up, then slams me down. Apparently I've gotta work on my "trim" ... how rude. Here's a pic to make it look like I know what I'm doing ......

And a video to prove that I don't! It's just really to show it's more difficult than Ulli makes it look in the next video.

Ulli Hamilton is a seasoned foiler. He did it back in his tow in days, and so is demonstrating how it should be done in this video. I tried to upload the good ones, but they were over a minute, so this is a quickie. Kids, don't try this at home.

Wes is gettin it when he's not drinking beer. After a few beers, it's all over. He forgets to let go of the tow rope when he falls, and gets dragged for ages.

He's invented a boat bumper sticker "MADF" Mothers Against Drunk Foilers.

As the sun sets there is no better way to enjoy a beer than in the middle of the ocean with whales breaching all around you. I don't think we could ask for a better life, or friends to share our days with!

T-kill-ya

2008-03-03T22:50:00.000-08:00

Anyone that is subject to the daily TV advertisements here in the US, for drugs that can do anything from growing a third tit to stopping your twitchy leg, will appreciate this ..... or anyone that has had a night on Tequila .... I fall under both categories, and thus have been playing this all day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhHa8wqqOXY

Where the beer flows like wine ......

2008-02-18T19:51:00.000-08:00

Powder Days/ Olympic Nights

2008-02-17T20:24:00.000-08:00

I just have to perfect the naked wave dance, and the naked money dance.

A short snowcat ride to the halfway point.

And then a short hike with the rest of the Jone's to the top.

At the top we meet some real locals.

After catching our breathes at 12,392 ft, it's powder time!

We get one shot of Michelle in powder because no one can be bothered to take out the camera when it's this good.

We decide to take a day off and start our very own Olympics. First competition: Rock climbing.
Michelle goes first. But I beat her.

Second event: Figure skating.
Michelle showing great form.

Ulli on the other hand should have tried out for the hockey team.

Third event: Luge.

Ulli: 11 seconds
Michelle: 10.24 seconds

Just remember. You don't win silver, you lose gold.

Going (for) broke in Aspen

2008-02-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

But who cares! We are having fun back on our snowboards and it's great!
Today we went to Snowmass mountain, and there was masses of snow!

Ulli modeling some high fashion 10 year old gear, it's probably in style again... ??

Michelle, feeling a sense of youthfullness, decides to hit the snowboard park, prematurely in the vacation. She got some decent air....

But overshot the landing, and the knee....

And kisses some hard pack .....

Nothing a hot mocha won't fix.

Back home for some snow shovelling

And Ulli completes the evening by doing the naked powder dance..... let's see if it worked tomorrow!!

Trials Maui

2008-02-10T15:32:00.000-08:00

This is what I'm up to when I'm not in the water.

Check out our website/blog.

www.trialsmaui.blogspot.com

Superbowl Sunday

2008-02-08T10:16:00.000-08:00

I was never into it, cos I didn't put money on it! But look what happens when you put a bit of the green stuff down on a game and then win with just seconds to spare at the end of a game!

My (american) football season was short but sweet this year. I learnt to understand the basic rules of the engagement in the semi-finals, and won $10 on that game; so kept my underdog team for the finals, put $100 on and WON. Bloody fantastic. Here's a picture of that winning moment with my support teamates Lisa, Skylar and Nova (with baby Chase) basking in the glory of winning $$ from these armchair football seasoned pros!

Can't wait till next season HAHAHA!

No wind, no waves , no problem

2008-02-04T23:38:00.000-08:00

The ocean activities this winter have been quite miserable. But never fear, fun is always here when you have a trials motorcycle on Maui.

With a trials bike no obstacle is out of reach.

Kourt makes his way through the rock garden.

When it comes to trials riding, Frankie is without a doubt, "The Man"

Snow kidding

2008-02-01T00:09:00.000-08:00

Who needs to travel to the ski resorts for a bit of snow, we've got it all right here! Check out our Hawaii snow fall! I was in Kula that morning- at about 5000 feet - half way up our mountain for this view. (I only had my phone camera, so have borrowed this proper shot from GP's blog, as it's too good to not post, grazie to GP and his leather loafers - another pic worth posting if I can only figure how to down load my phone pics)...... anyway, back to the gorgeous sight of white... (more cheese, I hear mum cry ;-)

It was about 55 degrees in Kula that morning. Haleakala was closed at the ranger station (7000 feet) because of icy conditions. I guess they had to de-ice the snow plows ;-) Anyway, a rare sight for our Maui eyes. And now we're all pumped on going snowboarding again.... maybe we only need to go as far as the Big Island ??!!

http://www.coffeetimes.com/snow.htm

Food for thought

2008-01-15T23:31:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, I've not just signed up at the local church for bake sales on Sunday after Mass. But religious or not, you can't deny this isn't great food for thought. Do what you have to, to make this sit right with you, ( for eg. Shaz changes God to dog!), and then enjoy the pictures and digest the words.

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/

January 2nd

2008-01-02T22:29:00.000-08:00

For most of you, January 2nd is a welcome relief, and the end of the festive celebrations. I am no different .... and the closer I get to senior citizen-ism, the more I enjoy a quiet Birthday!

It does come with a but though. I simply delay my celebrations! I reckon the 3rd weekend in January gives everyone ample time to recover from their overeating and overdrinking, before requiring more of it in the name of me.

Thanks for all your lovely Birthday wishes. They have been extremely creative and very much appreciated. Wish I could mention them all but, just to name a few ..... Ulli belted out his rendition of the Birthday Hanukkah song by Adam Sandler (on his new guitar) and my parents Gordie and Christine stuck with the traditional Happy Birthday to you on the answer machine. Plenty of others really worthy, but this one took the birthday biscuit. This is too good to not pass on, so enjoy my birthday greetings from my mental mate Shaz.

http://www.careerbuilder.com/monk-e-mail/?mid=25299898

New Resolution ..... New Posts!!

2008-01-01T22:38:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year you guys!!! Guess what our resolution is ......?
To post more ? .... nope, ok just joking. Yes it is, so here we go.

As we have no new pics from 2008 yet, the archives have been raided and we've pulled out a couple of fun oldies.... Ulli's bachelor days. The reason why will be revealed tomorrow, if I manage to keep up with the posting .....

Lets start with the old inconspicuous toy transporter. Err yes I've come down with a cold and can't work today.

Voted VW's sexiest customer of '88.

Quality gear ... the board looks like the stand up board we were sailing on today (!) Retro days....

Working boy to pay for the toy!

Winter season always had the ladies screaming, throwing numbers and underwear off the ski lifts ...... apparently!!!!

Seems like he deserved those numbers, with all that airtime.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!
Ulli & Michelle

Kauai addiction

2007-11-12T15:30:00.000-08:00

We've been loving Kauai, and went back again last weekend in a group of 12. What a blast, we had so much fun.

This time we scored some great surf, and were out every day. The big north pumped through and we got our share for sure! These pics were all taken on the same day, same spot.

Mike kicks off with a nice take off .....

Ian follows suit .....

And Michelle, with a late drop .... in (!!) how not to make friends with the locals!! (Luckily he was very cool about it. T & A, it's the only way... ;-)

Ulli's goes for a sweet one .....

But this place was very un-predictable with size, and it ended up being a curtain closer .....

Right into mike! Look closely, he bailed his board and swam down to the depths ...

Ulli on one that held up this time ...

Mich goes for the barell take off.

Mike scores again.

Danny scores a "Bride" cap, he's stoked!

Even the SHOREBREAK at Hanalei Bay was ass kicking fun!

Great food, a keg and a yarn finished off each day at the house of "Alcatraz"

Aptly named due to the bizarre 15 foot wall of random dark stone in the living room!! Pictured here are the boys in escape mode.

The last day the macking out of season south hit, and we went for the "possiblity of missing the flight" last minute surf session. No pics, but check out GP's blog for the report from Maui ... insane!!!

Plans are already in progress for the next trip in Jan, horahh!

Sorry, Sorry, Sorry

2007-10-12T00:16:00.000-07:00

It's inexcuseable! Over a month!!! Obviously theres been alot going on; but we've also been without the camera as it broke so, posting would be pretty boring without pictures - kinda like porn I guess ;-) ... just kidding sorry again!!

Well, first brother Bitz came out to visit with his mate Justin and we had a blast with them. They kept us widly amused with some good grass roots British humor.

We got up to a few tricks here on Maui, including the commando hike ... which is where we kissed the first of many electronic items over the week, goodbye. We cracked on with this on their first day, just for your reference Mum, it was the one I was not allowed to take them (cause they have responsibilities ;-) We were gonna take it easy, but soon tossed that idea out the way, and after a guava fight that brought back visions of 'Nam, they were wondering what the hell they'd got in to...

So we didn't disappoint, this is a lovely not seen before "how to shove your mate up the waterfall" technique. Awesome.

The bridge gets worse everytime we go, and worried about the real possibility of it collapsing, I went first, and let them follow ;-) Mark decided to go it on all 4's less distance to fall if it all goes tits up was the theory I think ?!!

Anyway, at this point the camera bust. But to confirm that they then jumped 2 more bigger ass waterfalls and kicked some serious butt on the guava fight all the way down. Nice work lads.

After a few days of exploring the lack of female possibilities on Maui, it was time to check out what another island had to offer, so we popped over to Kauai for some serious alcohol comsumption, to add to the hiking, surfing and kiting, and no pulling ....

Six boards, six people .... easy

Waiting for pics from Mark to add some color to this post. Their cameras also went down in the fouth and fifth rounds due to some condensation and a back pack being launched into a stream ... oh well, part of the fun apparently!

So I'll add to this post when I get 'um ... stay (not too) tuned! Hopefully it won't be another month!

Hana Relay Weekend

2007-09-10T20:44:00.000-07:00

The Hana Relay was last weekend and as usual no one ran since last year's Relay. In fact we didn't have a team until the night before. No Problemo! We pulled it out of our asses and made it for the 6 a.m. start with a team (almost). Steve was still in bed but made it for his first leg.

The Team minus a few.

Danny, our traditional start man takes the first leg.

Scotty in his first relay, and sporting a slight 6 pints the night before hangover, puts in a strong showing.

Michelle, (3 months after knee surgery) a seasoned Relayer, burns up the pavement.

Steve, finally gets out of bed, & does his first leg in a pair of running shoes one size too small.

I did one leg. Ran down hill, had a mild cardiac arrest, and couldn't make the uphill section.

Speed walkers, Danny and Scotty, make a smooth batten pass.

Steve stretches muscles while Michelle sticks a flag in his ass.

Danny sums up what it feels like to run three legs

Michelle takes the last leg and brings it home. It's party time!

Quick bite to eat, and crack into the cold beers.

Martina and I rehydrate.

Jamie and Nancy host a party every year.
This year was an "aquatic " theme.

And Danny didn't know what to make of it.......

Next day was recovery beach day and the shorebreak was body surfable.

Party wave.

Good job everyone.
Can't wait till next years run.
(yeah, right)

Surge Hike

2007-09-03T12:01:00.001-07:00

Adventures with Darian #562
First find some private property to trespass on.

Scale down dangerous cliff faces.

Jump of high cliffs into ocean.

Swim around corner up to cliff faces while ocean is surging up and down.

Climb into cave and take group shot.

Hang out, snorkel with fish and turtles, enjoy day.

Hike out, have beers and snacks, try out Skyler's rip stick on busy road, enjoy sunset.

Repeat next weekend.

Just Zip It

2007-08-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

Trying to catch up with the posting vs activities here, and I'm loosing the battle right now! Oh well, plenty of material for that day when we don't do anything, to keep you guys happy.

Last weekend (we are running at least 1 week behind the activity schedule) we re-visited the very first hike that I did in Maui. The Commando Hike. I've been wanting to go back to the old stomping ground for years, and it finally came together with the usual suspects, bloody perfect!

It's a great hike, that starts by walking up a river to a lava tube. Pretty easy to navigate if there is not much water flow. Darian was adding to the water flow here.

And I enjoy a brief golden waterfall shower.

Once deep into the lava tubes it's pitch black, and that's where the games begin. Lets not forget who we are hiking with here! Darian and Steve took off in to the darkness and then successfully scared everyone by grabbing them in conveyor belt form. It was ridiculous, the scream interval was about 3 seconds apart, but they got everyone!

Out of the lava tubes and onto waterfall jumping. For the first jump, you have to first make it accross this rickety old bridge. Ulli sends everyone in order of weight, lighest first! Then assess the situation himself.

20 feet down, 100 feet to go, with a swim onto the next one, and not without the odd soggy guava fight in between.

The second waterfall always gives me a heart flutter. It's totally makeable, but just high enough to bring on the poopy pants if your the last one to jump. It's about 50 feet I think.

The 3rd and final waterfall is usually another jump. But Super D has been planning since the wee morning hours..... and it's time to set up a zip line! When asked "how safe do you think it is?" He replied "Err about 80%" - we didn't ask in which direction. We just sent him off first!

And it was bloody perfect. The man is an animal .... and so is his wife!!

What a blast we had coming down that zip line. It's kicked off a zip line frenzy, and orders are being place for longer ropes and better pulleys left and right with REI!

On the way out, a snail was on out the trail and looked hungry, so D found a dead worm and fed the lucky bugger his best meal in months!

We also came accross some crazy crossed banana tree. The bright pink fruit smells like banana but sure doesn't taste like it!

The hike out is beautiful with the huge eucaliptus trees towering overhead. With thoughts of steak and beer running through our heads, we picked up the pace and headed for home.

More Molokai

2007-08-21T14:19:00.000-07:00

It's a distinct possibility that the friendly isle seemed like the hostile isle, because we were a large, rowdy and often drunken group that invaded this small island on masse. Who can blame um after examining the evidence from the first night?

Anyway after 10 cups of coffee and the remains of last nights Molokai bread, we headed out to get a taste of the island. Our first stop was Phallic Rock, could it really have been anywhere else????

Lisa gets lost in the excitement!

And Ulli becomes quickly attached!

With that under our belt (finar finar - for those that ever read Viz) we carried on to a trail that took us to the most beautiful views above the Lepar Colony on the north shore. We were not supposed hike this trail, as the inhabitants choose to keep the area private from visitors; but it's 2000 feet in 2.4 miles, so we figured there would not be too many one legged lepars chasing us out (OMG can I write that?!!).

This great sweaty workout took care of the hangover pretty quick.

Whilst some of the group went on to check out the deserted beach at the west side of the island. How romantic!

Others went back to the hotel, and plans were taking place to repay the fish under the car guy. Alarm clocks were gathered and stashed in various places of his hotel room, and were prepped to go off at 30 minute intervals starting at 3am. Ulli guards the devices, and takes his job very seriously. Outcome : 2 of 3 clocks worked, and someone was pissed ;-) even if it was not the intended victim it was totally worth it!

The next day was a bit of a late starter and we missed the opportunity to hike to the waterfalls in Halava Valley (next year!). Another lovely part of the island with great views.

This was followed by possibly the most exciting part of the trip, the ferry ride home. The seas were pretty choppy due to passing Hurricane Flossie, so we got launched, drenched and drunk on the way back. Cameras and all equipment had to be stowed for this wet trip, so no action shots unfortunately! Not sure if I'm about to get my first mouth full of ocean or beer in this one?!

Till next year, Cheers!

Molokai Madness Part 1 - Getting there

2007-08-16T10:18:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we (attempted) to sail over to Molokai from Maui. The 30 mile down winder is not a problem ...... if there's wind! A group of about 20 of us signed up for the challenge, luckily 16 of them were kites, cos by the time the 4 windsurfers bobbed up and down through the channel, waiting for a rescue there was no more room in the boat for anyone else!!

First challenge of the day: Get 15 people, gear and 2 nights worth of clothing for all in one van, marvelous. Piece of piss.

It started out looking so good, there was even some tweaking going on to "flatten out" the sails to spill more wind! (que buzzer) WRONG!

With no boat or fellow windsurfer in sight, this white house was my target. Get to it and hitch down the coast I thought; an exciting adventure! I was even racing to try and get there before the boat could pick me up. Unfortunately, they knew what I was up to and a few minutes from the reef showed up to execute the semi-hostile rescue. Probably a good job; I didn't realise there was still 22 miles of coastline to hitch down, on an island with 10 cars!

Here's the true hero of the trip. Steve, who only really signed up last minute with his boat, was there to rescue us wind kooks whilst the kiters took off into the distance. What a guy!

There they go. I guess it's time to buy a kite!

Anyway, 4 hours later and everyone was safely at the hotel bar. Now the fun really begins! After a day in the sun and not enough water, we were all trashed after the first beer.

And it went downhill quickly. Girls gone wild Molokai!

Ulli digs around in the hotel trash (!) and finds our mascot. Who was aptly named "Todarian". As he perfectly blends Todd and Darian into a plastic action man figure.

You'll note the uncanny resemblence!

Anyway, following countless more beers and belly laughs, a trip to the local town pizzeria and bar, we ended the first night with a stop for Molokai bread. This involves walking down a deserted alley way in the town and knocking on a door. Money and bread exchange hands through the night, and here is the result!

It may not look so good, but its bloody delicious! 6 happy customers.

More adventures to follow on the (un) Friendly Isle in the next post!

Super D Sunday

2007-08-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know too many people that are higher maintenance than me in the entertainment department, but fortunately there are some out there. Super D is at the top of the list, this 30 something kid cannot sit still for 10 seconds. Thank god I say, there is always adventure to look forward to!

Yesterday it was D's annual birthday beach bash, and true to form, it did not dissapoint.

Things kicked off pretty slow with a few back flips on the tramp for warm up.

But it quickly progressed after a few tasty cold beverages, to "girls on trampolines" from the man show Hawaii.

The highlight and a grand finale was Nova (8.5 months pregnant) giving birth mid splitz.

Our victim of the day (not meesh for once!) : a broken, dislocated nose that is popped back into place and a cold beer is quickly applied to the lips.

Next activity: Duct tape yourself to a boogie board and body drag behind a kite full speed down wind. Simply brilliant! Guess whose hand is up first to try.

Directions were as follows : when I get to you, grab the kite and just launch! There's no walking about with a boogie board strapped firmly to your arse.

Meanwhile back on the beach, pumping up the "sea biscuit" is a job for 2. Steve receives for a change as Shelly obliges. No pictures of the fun to follow unfortunately, but suffice to say that after being dragged at high speed behind the kite & Steve on the biscuit, the second jump we hit is still fresh in the mind, and the neck.

A pic from the archives is pulled for your reference.

Grill master Ulles flips burgers between his legs. He's been know to stick the flipper in his arse and flip a pancake 10 feet in the air, but looks like he didn't have enough beers for that trick yet.

Goofy and Skylar bounce into the evening hours.

Whilst D dives into the cake, face first (with a little help from Shelly).

And no party is complete these days without a round of Chubbie Bunnies. Super D goes for the title as he stuffs marshmallow number 18 into his cheeks.

A Royal Piss Up

2007-08-02T10:59:00.000-07:00

Why am I dressed as the late Queen Mother? Why is Shaz dressed like the Queen? Visit Shaz's blog for the full story

http://www.kinel.blogspot.com

Face like a slapped kipper

2007-07-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

And here's the definition of the term (thanks to urbandictionary.com) "Face contorted in displeasure or annoyance, resulting in a less than flattering look."

Last week Tuesday, there were occassional whiffs of "somethings died around here" coming from the garage area. By the afternoon it had gotten worse and we were pulling out boxes and sniffing around all of our stuff in the car port. It's either a rat or one of those stray kittens I thought.

Nothing turned up after a fairly good search and sniff, so assuming it was coming from some nearby bush, gave up.

By Thursday, the smell was over powering and flies were swarming in the garage. I pulled the car out of the car port and the flies followed the car. Right, so what ever it is, is under the car. I didn't recall a big bump that you would normally associate with running someone over, so "something" must have crawled in the engine and died. GROSS. I almost lost my beans with the smell, it was disgusting.

Ulli said "I dunno, maybe Steve put something under your car, you know what they are like." Nah, I dismissed, how could they have done that....... but maybe ........ STEVE!!! I called his phone, no answer. The bastards were avoiding me. I left a couple of messages with the details adding that he and his sidekick would die if what ever is dead under my car was not removed. After a brief steak out, I busted them and all was revealed...... A rather large dead fish from the Filipino store had been tied under my car for 3 days. Bastards.......

A glorious day for Steve, here he is pictured with the offending kipper.

Any ideas on how to return the favor are most welcome. Please send them to meeshsail@hotmail.com .

Loads of good posting material from the weekend, so I'll try to keep up with it a bit more this week!

Turd Place Wiener

2007-07-25T11:40:00.000-07:00

For this post I am totally stealing all the material from Shazza, including the excellent title. I realise now that I should have just let her do the post and directed you to her blog (which is great if you have not already visited go to
http://www.kinel.blogspot.com/ The whittiest sistah I know, so her posts are always hysterical.

Anyway, the Hennessy Paddle Board race took place last Sunday, from Maliko Gulch to Kahului Harbor. The event comes as a welcome relief to break up the boredom of summer and gives us all a chance to get together and drink beer under a big tent on a Sunday! http://www.mauipaddleboard.com/

There were several classes for lay down paddle boarding, and there was also the stand up event for men, women and kids. The race course was 9 miles (who are these super kids doing it anyway??!!!); and in the not so windy conditions it felt like 20!

Getting to the outside, upwind start line was a bitch, and I was nackerd by the time I made it out there.

Anyway, came in 3rd of 14 ladies (and the first true surf board, the first 2 were down wind only boards) so I was well chuffed, and won $150!

Ulli, my nutrionist, part-time-trainer, support vehicle, caddy and photographer was on hand (at the bar). He got the first couple of shots of the start, but after a stressful day, left it up to Shaz to provide the finish line photos!

Me and Andrea, the most hard core chick I know. Andrea kicks ass in all sports, she is a champ paddler, tows in at Jaws and charges huge, all this while raising her 4 year old daughter Keala. Andrea came in first, smoking most of the men!

GP was out on the water filming the event, so he should be posting when his computer is fixed. I think he got a couple of good shots of me falling in ;-) Check out his blog .... http://mauisurfreport.blogspot.com/

Get Well Post

2007-07-16T22:39:00.000-07:00

This post is for Mom.( a.k.a Gertrud, Gerturd, "Big G", Baerli, Traudle and some other nicknames that I can't even spell.)
She has cancer (again). First time was breast. No problem, chopped it off. This time a little more serious. In the lymphnodes.
She is going through the whole chemotherapy nightmare. And as we all have heard, it sucks.

Get well soon Mom.

"Glorious Britain"

2007-07-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well, at least that's what they claim on all the post cards and tea towels that you can buy at the seafront gift shops! But instead of the traditional stick of rock, I decided to bring back picture souveniers this time. Here is a collection of my favoUrites.

I LOVE .........

The statements of the papers. You just don't get this anywhere else do you?

The very polite and explanitory signage. Here in the US, they would just inform you of the fine, the jail time and the chapter that you can reference if you have a problem with it.

The equal opportunities. It's not just the staff that are ethnically sourced at Clapham Junction, even your cup of coffee is.

The pub names. The first of which our visiting friend from OZ misread as the "slag & lettuce"!!

The double entendres. Hopefully they are just serving beer at this one.

The radom penis names for anything & everything ...

The fact that there is no shortage of small cars that people (like my brother) over 6 feet cannot possibly be comfortable in.

This one is the "smart" car. Not too sure what is smart about it ..... it's about 13K to buy (26K usd!!), it's a go cart that will get crushed in any minor accident, no storage, no space. Imagine if you had a 12ft stand up to get to the beach?!

Finally, the British pass times. There was no sun, so no good pics of oldies sitting in their deck chairs with their sleeves rolled up, vests out, pop socks still on and hankies on their heads; but the rain did not stop these guys pumping up their dinghy, and grabbing their gear for a day of fun on the river.

(double click on these pics for the detail shots)

Bon Anniversaire!!

2007-07-02T16:02:00.000-07:00

I am nicking the French words as it covers 2 things that relate to this blog. The man himself "Ulles" is celebrating his 38th birthday AGAIN ... having been convinced all year that he was already 38 about to turn 39. After much calculation and conversation at dinner with some good friends, we were able to confirm that he is indeed 38 today! Horahh, a free year for Ulli.

So this brings us to the second thing ... the Blog's 1st Anniversary! As it was Shazza & GP's cheap and very effective gift last year.

So no prizes for guessing who we will be posting about today.

This year, Ulli celebrated gaining a year by purchasing a stonker of a gift for himself. A new trails bike.

For those that know, he lives and breathes trials, and it's not uncommon to find him licking the bike clean after every ride. Finally we have a few action shots from him (to prove he has a bike, not another woman!). Here he is climbing a large rock.... on the bike (hey this is a girls commentary - so it's not gonna be technical)

Riding partner Francky has been doing it a while longer. Somewhat of a pro in France in his younger years. He shows off his shit here.

After a good ride, the next port of call is usually the beach. This weekend it was all about UIli, and the lens was firmly fixed on the man who complains he never has any phots taken by his wife.

A gorgeous day on the south side, can be followed by a relaxing walk on the beach .... a simple excuse to enjoy a sunset beer without the guilt after a beach walk. Last night we were treated to a rainbow or 2 to add to the beauty.

So you're not doing too badly here old man! Lets see how 38 this time around compares to the last!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ULLI !!!! XXXX

Meet the Cromptons

2007-06-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

Corr blimey .... It's been a while! Having just returned from a whirlwind trip to the UK, I have some good posting material. It was a bit shorter than I'd have liked, but beggers can't be choosers. At least I got to catch up with the family as we are growing in numbers!

So I'll keep this one simple, as there is a long list of chores to do on the first few days back - especially as my husband is evidently not self sufficient - and the sugar cane surrounding us has just been burnt. This means that everything in the house is covered in black soot mixed with red dirt. Shit.

So without further adooo, allow me introduce the Cromptons ......

Otherwise know as "father chumbie" from early school years (I've no idea why). Here he is in all his green house glory! The poor man's conservatory, so he says. I think even if we had a conservatory, he would still be in the greenhouse.

Next up is my mum "mother chumbie" (I wasn't the brightest kid) . The fittest of the Crompton clan, mum can be found on any given, snowy, rainy, hailing, pouring, sunny, scortching day walking 1- 2 hours regardless. Always happy to look after us whenever we visit, which is lovely, as during the rest of the year I'm the one doing the looking after ;-)

Here are my two (not so) handsome bruvers (eee). Jon the older and fatter one to the left, and Mark the younger and soon to be fatter than me, to the right. They always called me porky, fatso, porky pig, to mention but a few terms of endearment - so here is my revenge. Unfortunately they really do look better and younger than me - I think it was the angle of the lens.....

Jon's wife, the lovely Debbie joined us for this shot. A great mum to Lucie and an ex hair dresser, I made the most of her skills whilst she was watching Eastenders. She thought this picture made her head look massive. I would have to disagree, I think she looks bloody good too. Must be all that English air everyone is getting!

Here's Trouble!! The youngest and undoubtedly the cutest addition to the Crompton Clan is Lucie Beth. A complete angel, that almost had me wanting kids!! Bloody hell I hear you cry .... not to worry, I will just keep this one when she visits. Then all the hard work is done!

There are just 2 important things in Lucie's life .... football and food.

Having mastered the art of walking the day before. Footy was the order of every day, this is my kind of chick. She can launch a ball further than me!

No teeth? No problem. This girl and inhale her food faster than we can chew. The hampster cheeks are processing this banana quicker than daddy Jon can peel it!

But after a long day of play, shes still got a cuddle for everyone.

Let me hear you say ..... ahhhhhhh !!!

Down Winders

2007-06-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

Summer is in full gear and Michelle has lost the will to live. I have been having fun and hope to have more fun once I get my new trials bike. Last weekend a few of us did a downwinder from Maliko to Kanaha. Good fun and it was windy as hell.

The water was beautiful and the wind was super strong. I opted for the witch riding broomstick technique.

We took a short break where Keith Teboul talked about his board that he just made.

All photos were taken by Frankie. My camera already bit the bullet after taking a few shorebreak shots. Costco here I come.

Summer Surf

2007-06-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

A nice little surprise today. Surf on the North Shore. I have to say I had a blast. I took the 9'0 out knowing full well I was'nt ready for the short board after not surfing for so long. Poor Michelle could only sit on the beach and take pictures.

I love hitting that closeout section trying to get vertical and snap around.
But actually, I think just ate shit on this wave.

Michelle finally took some pictures of me for a change.

After surfing the standup board for so long it makes my 9'0 seem like a short board.

Now Michelle knows how I felt after sitting on the beach all those months watching her have fun while I recovered after my knee injury.
Thanks for the pics Love.

A day at the beach

2007-05-31T17:27:00.000-07:00

Rehab does not involve anything remotely exciting, hence the lack of posting lately. I have been boucing between the gym, the pool, the beach and the BBQs in no particular order; while Ulli is taking the reigns in the fun department. He's having such a blast, he's got no time to take pictures; so here's our feeble attempt to keep you midly amused with our limited resources.... otherwise we are gonna lose our 5 blog visitors (!)

It's really warm these summer days, and when the wind is light and the waves are not happ'nin the only thing to do is hang out at the beach with a few friends and get in the refreshing clear blue water.

To fit in with the hippys at the beach, I attempt to attach some arm pit hair.

But to really integrate, you have to go all the way.

Ulli is a bit shocked at the sight of it all....
Is his chest wig also fake? Answers on a postcard ;-)

And a few creative shorebreak pics to finish .....

Random Post

2007-05-21T10:33:00.000-07:00

It's been a while! I've just downloaded the camera to find random shots from over the past 2 weeks, so thought I would throw a post together. Whilst it's not been the most action packed 2 weeks I've ever had, it's certainly been entertaining!

For those that don't know, I busted my arse about 12 days ago heading for a cold beer after a hot run on the beach. Some friends were having at sunset Birthday bash at Baldwin, and following my run I could not think of a better way to enjoy a sunset! Well, things didn't quite turn out as planned, and following 12 days of crutches and a knee arthroscopy I am on the mend! Luckily the wave Gods have been extreemly kind, and yesterday saw the first day of waves in weeks, so I have only missed out on one day ....... so far.

What I have realised is that I am extreemly fortunate to have so many good friends. I don't think I have ever been to so many BBQ's, had so many visitors, dinners etc than these past 12 days. What a great place to live, and even be injured!

Last weekend kicked off with Saturday night's "Pity Party" and quickly degenerated into a game of "Chubbie Bunnies" with marshmellos chased by a game of trying to light your farts. At 34 this stuff is still so highly amusing it makes me cry!

There were a couple more nights during the week, but we'll move on.

Luckily I was able to swim and do a down winder on a lay down paddle board with everyone, for exercise so I have been mentally stable so far. Other daily activities included a wee bit of gardening, and feeding our new family of cats.

(This one's for mum, how impressed are you?!)

Fastforward past surgery day (spa treatment day) and to this weekend. Our 5th wedding anniversary celebrations were a bit different (or not!) ......

And another BBQ in which Ulli finds motherhood after a night on the beer.

And finally a gorgeous day at the beach. This new sport Stand Up-doggy style is catching on.

For the full Sunday story, visit Sharon's blog.
http://www.kinel.blogspot.com/

The Un-Sponsored Watermans Bash

2007-05-08T00:44:00.000-07:00

We spent all weekend hanging out on the Southside with friends Lisa and Darian who entertained us with all the toys in their garage, shed, closet ..... It was a "bring what you got" weekend, and we had a blast.

Some small kine waves were still around from the last swell and we tested out the new waterproof camera.

It worked well and we got some good shots.

Darian brought the trampoline and set it in the shorebreak. Talk about fun. Skyler and her friend didn't see this wave coming.

Then he took it one step further and mounted it to and old catamaran hull and set sail. The fisherman and surfers were not surprisingly speachless.

The Zodiac ran all day for wake boarding, foil boarding, and inner tubing.

This was the first time I tried foil boarding. This picutre looks like I am in total control, and it could not be further from the reality!

The Yakis played in the ankle biters

But of course, no weekend surf trip is considered fun unless Michelle draws blood.

By the end of the day a nice cold ......

next to the warm ........

was a great way to end the weekend!

Signs of Summer

2007-05-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's May already (I'm sure I say that every year!), but for the last few weeks all the signs of summer have started showing. I don't mean flowers blooming or days getting longer, so much as the north shore more often flat than not, moderate to strong trades rather than light and breezy, and the prediction of the first high surf advisory south swell.

Another sign is the mountain bike trails start to dry up from all the rain during the winter. We had a bit of a mountain bike frenzy this weekend, and it didn't take long to realise that I probably could have peddled faster with my arms after all the surfing.

The Makawao forest is one of my favorite rides on the island. It reminds me of the rides we used to do in Oregon. It's cool and shady and there are tons of trails maintained by the hard core dudes that think jumps like this are fun!

I experimented a bit with the timer and got a couple of action shots. Not too hard core, as I had to set the camera, run back to the bike, get on it, click in and be in the right place for the pic. It was funny even to myself whilst I was doing it.

On Sunday we went exploring around the Iao Valley, along the dirt bike trails with friends Darien and Jaimison. What a blast,
there was quite a bit more hiking the bikes up vertical drops, but the downhill was totally worth it.

We did a little vid of the stream crossing..... First up, Ulli on his tricycle .... compared to the trials bike

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"D" man takes it on

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Princess gets her foot wet

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Dalai Lama

2007-04-28T01:45:00.000-07:00

Why does the Dalai Lama go to Las Vegas ?

.

Because he likes Tibet.

Scottish Party

2007-04-22T10:40:00.000-07:00

Why am I trying to pull of a pair of Michelle's knickers off of Steve's head like a dog? Good question. It was one of those nights.

In fact I don't remember doing it myself. Andy Church from Naish hosted a Scottish Kilt Party complete with band and booze. It was a rager until the wee hours of the morning. I spent all the next day in bed with a major hangover.

Andy and the boys bringing down the house.

Party group shot.

More Magic Moments

2007-04-19T15:51:00.000-07:00

I thought there were a few other blog worthy shots from this weekend, so as I have a short gap in my day, I have decided to treat you to some more magic moments ....

Just to clear up any doubts about the meaning of "foul ass", Sid is pictured here showing that it must be bad when you can't handle you own.

More from the Bavarian Boys, on location shooting for "Lederhosen International" fashion mag.

If you have ever been to the crater, you will have probably read the warning information about how diverse the weather can be, and how conditions can change in a moment. To this end, you are strongly advised to be prepard with all types of clothing.

Steve takes "all types of clothing" a step too far and turns up like a transvestite.

A good picy of the gang, with a couple of midgets.

Lets do it again ....... next century!

Crater Hiking....

2007-04-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

This weekend we went for a little hike into Haleakala Crater. (Oh boy! ) We spent 2 nights in 2 seperate cabins and hiked about a total of 21 odd miles with backpacks.

The gang smiling and happy at the beginning. (Little do we know.)

The proposed route.

The actual route.

After a few miles, I was already over it.

Despite Sid's foul ass, we all had a good laugh and it was great fun. I'll give it a few years before I hike that much again.

Maui Goes Off...

2007-04-10T21:50:00.000-07:00

Since I quit my job it's been fun every minute of every day. You might say I've got a case of Giampaolitis. The only draw back is I'll have to go back to work one day to pay the bills. (I haven't figured out how GP pulls money out of his ass like an ATM machine.)
Two weeks in Tahiti, come back to Maui for a week of epic surf, and start the next week with sick windsurfing conditions, and its supposed to continue.

So hanging out in Maui with no job I have time to hang out at Hookipa and take pictures. All the Pros are in town for photo shoots so it was quite busy.

Keali was carving up a storm.

After losing his gear, he body surfs back to it.

Someone must be compensating for a small penis.

Windsurfers were flying everywhere.

While doing a downwinder on his stand-up board, Laird drops in for a visit, (probably to check out Ann Marie's ass.)

Waterproof Issues

2007-04-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

So Michelle's brother visits us and I ask if he would like to have his picture taken while surfing. "I got a waterproof housing bag, just let me borrow your camera", I said. Well so much for his camera.

So I had to buy him a new one. But I got this little baby for myself at Costco. No housing, just dip it in water and start snapping.

Dinner at some friends. Drink a little wine. Test new camera in pool.

And what did I do with the old not-so-waterproof camera. Well what any red-blooded American would do. Take my air pistol and pump it full of b-b's.

And since I quit my job, I feel I can do stupid shit like this to pass the time and even post blogs about it (Jesus!).

More Tahiti

2007-04-04T11:04:00.000-07:00

Besides the whole beauty of the islands, the waves were sick barreling, glassy, hollow, shallow, board breaking little nuggets.
This break was right out in front of the house.

Same wave at sunset.

If we did'nt surf there was plenty of other things to do. Local surfer Leo and his kids take us out for a spin around the lagoon.

Island tour, Baja style.

Sunset ritual.

Welcome to Tahiti...

2007-04-01T21:13:00.000-07:00

We're back, and the next few blogs will be dedicated to our Tahiti vacation.
We spent 2 days on Tahiti, 10 days on Huahine, and the last day on Moorea. It was incredible.

This was the front yard where we stayed in Huahine.

And this was the back yard.

The sky and the ocean were like none I've ever seen.

Chef Mike prepares another average dinner for the gang.

Stay tuned, there is more to come.

Bon Voyage....

2007-03-17T10:43:00.001-07:00

We've gone to Tahiti. We'll be back in 2 weeks.

Surfing Nirvana

2007-03-16T21:20:00.000-07:00

Well the surf has been absolute gang-busters. It was like surfing oil on some days. It's been fun standup-boarding, short boarding' anything boarding. You could'nt go wrong no matter what you did.

Michelle took the back of some guys fin right in the face. A little ice, wipe off the blood, and back out she went for 2 more hours. Yes folks, it was that good.

Lame Bloggers

2007-03-07T22:34:00.000-08:00

Bloody hell, have we been lame on the old blog posting or what? Well we had "The Chumbies" (Michelle's parents) visiting from England and we've been working way too much and we just have not been taking any pictures lately. But that is hopefully all going to change.

"The Chumbies"

The Whales have been going off on the North Shore lately.

We would like to introduce the newest edition to the family.

British Invasion

2007-02-13T09:14:00.000-08:00

The long awaited party post is here!! God we are crap. But on with the post... The British Invasion party was in honour of our mate Shazza turning 29 and surprising the shit of of her (about 2 and 1/2 weeks ago now!) but what a fab night.

A good friend of Sharon's had set up the British Invasion surprise party, under the pretense of going to Wailuku for a "dodgy" night out with Shaz. Unsuspecting Shaz was told to "dress sexy" and pick up Chelsea at 8:30pm from her home. Little did she know her mates had flown in from all over the main land just to celebrate her birthday, and were crouched behind the front door!!

The theme (which by now you know) British Invasion was completely lost on me. I just thought it was random British people cruzing over to America and not leaving! Hence the Posh and Becks outfit for me and Ulli (the latest to invade LA).

The (wrong) word was passed on to Danny and Ian, who had the brilliant idea of ....

Give us a jig (eeaww eeaww)

Morris Dancers (you guessed it? I didn't - sorry guys I suck). True to their reputation, they continue to lead in the fancy dress world (I would love to check out your wardrobe you guys!)

Anyway, it was later explained to me that British Invasion was when all the music in the 60's from the UK came to the US. Hence the 60's look amongst the majority of the guests.

There was a good DJ, so dancing all night long.

Not the traditional way to eat cake, but certainly a more enjoyable one. Seen here, Shazza eating cake off of Sexy man Sid's chest. He thought it was a recipricle agreement last Wednesday on his birthday, but no joy unfortunately!

Then bets started getting thrown down ....

And Ian thought he was up for the challenge

These two are for GP.

My legs were apparently somewhat of a hit. Reason being no one ever sees them, I think I have worn this skirt twice and I know why, bloody hard to walk around with heels and a skirt!

Check out these wet suit tan lines!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAZZA!!! From all your drunken deliquent friends!

Last in the series

2007-02-07T09:07:00.000-08:00

A bit late as we are now enjoying the next "Kona Winds" front. This one is with much lighter winds, perfect light off shore breezes for surfing, so you won't see any pics of this round coz we are on da woda!! So just thought I'd post the last few pics of those crazy dayz....

Anyway, let's open up with this mast high ariel off the lip from KP. Holly Shit! He landed it too, on the back side of the wave, but no points lost for that in these winds!!

Nice top turn in the critical section here

Monster chasing Robby ..... or Robby chasing monster?? I have a feeling it's the latter!

Polokow nails it every time

The chopper was getting pretty close to the action. What a pilot too ... he kept getting pushed side ways in the gusts.

For full coverage of the Kona days including the action from Laird The Superhuman, go to GP's blog at:

http://mauisurfreport.blogspot.com/

Kona Mayhem Part 2...

2007-02-01T21:53:00.000-08:00

Well, this Kona storm has been a good one. A week of insane wind topped off with a fat swell. All kinds of crazy shit going down. I finally made it back to the beach for some more pictures.

Lanes was firing all week and Kai Lenny finally got his chance. And let me tell you, he was showing the big boys how it's done.
No mistakes, picked off some nuggets, and flat out ripped the shit out of some beautiful waves.

The wind started dying. the sailors came in, and Michelle was getting that itch on her big fat hairy balls to surf The Point. I was not going to scratch that itch for her. So she went out.
First wave... two schmucks had something to prove.

No Problem. Plenty more for the taking.

"Scotty", New Zealand Olympic diver turned surfer, gets a 4.1 from the judges.

Kona Mayhem...

2007-01-30T18:11:00.000-08:00

Well the last couple of days has brought some serious Kona winds with some fat swell. I'll let the pictures do the talking.

And of course, that brought out some wind skippers.

Polakow...

Pritchard...

and Naish...

I think Robby was hoping for a little more wind on the inside.

This surfer had some pretty big balls to go out, and man did he eat shit...

The funny files

2007-01-26T09:43:00.000-08:00

In need of a new post, I decided to turn to Ulli's "funny file" of pictures. There are so many "post worthy pics" I tried to select the best and least offensive! Ulli is truly the master of funny pictures, he has such an eye for it. I always complain about the process of taking these pictures, but just love them when they turn out!!

I'm gonna start with my favorite. This was taken in Austria on a main street in St Anton. Traffic stopped both ways, and people were just hysterically laughing while I snapped the shot. It's a billboard poster for fun-derwear!!

The fields of glory in the Haleakala crater

Tee-(th)-ing off at the driving range

It's a tough life in Maui

I complained like hell when we pulled off the side of the road in Utah's National Park to take this one, standing there with my tongue out looking like a complete knob (! excuse the punn) but look at the results!!

When photo shop and chop gets into the wrong hands, the results can be scary!!!

Take a bow and continue the good work Ulli !

Sunset Sesh

2007-01-15T09:07:00.000-08:00

The sunset sesh was held on our front yard the other day. After several days of good conditions on the water, we retreated back to the homestead before dark, and were treated to this!

Setting the stage at the Ho...

Usually I would be here till dark like this guy will be.

But we were at the beach most of the day, so we went home to relax and enjoy watching the sky turn red.

Weekend Update

2007-01-08T22:42:00.000-08:00

Saturday was windy as hell and then Sunday was barely enough. That's winter in Maui folks. Well that didn't stop Wavehog from going out and picking off a few waves.

The wind was really east and light and most people didn't have a great time. Wavehog seemed to have enjoyed it.
They say attitude is everything. My attitude is everything but positive when it comes to light offshore wind. But when it comes to spiders my attitude is jump on the table, pull my skirt up and scream.

The cane spiders have been taking over the house lately. Now I don't mind spiders normally, but these are not normal spiders. At least they aren't as bad as the tarantulas in the Dominican Republic that used to come in the house.

Face to face with the beast.

For a funny spider video check out this link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHzdsFiBbFc

New Directions

2007-01-06T19:20:00.000-08:00

Well Saturday has brought some serious wind and east swell so I decided to give windsurfing another go. The Wavehog finally got a picture of me.

Now looking at this picture you might think that I had a fun time. Wrong! The conditons were actually shitty. The wind was really strong with gusts over 30+ mph. I tweaked my bruised rib from last weak again (wasn't quite healed). And to top it off I blew my fin off my board coming in through the channel. The same channel I've sailed through a hundred times.

So it's time for new direction. Back to my old love, Soccer and my new love, Trials . Went to Sports Athourity and picked up some goods.

Another guaranteed source of fun is my trials bike. Hopefully I'll get some posts out on this baby soon

So I'll stick to surfing and all the other fun stuff there is to do on Maui, but for windsurfing, I'm going to have to give that shit a break.
Now all of you in blogland might think that Ulli has a negative attitude about windsurfing, Well, your absolutely right. If you want to read something positive please feel free to read my friend Giampaolo's Blog: http://mauisurfreport.blogspot.com/
There you will find all the positive windsurfing joys of life no matter what the conditions are.

HAPPY NEW 2007!!

2007-01-04T08:52:00.000-08:00

4 days late ... well it is Crompton - Walger's blog so surely it's to be expected!! Hope you had a fab New Year, however you chose to celebrate. If Ulli could have had his way, he would have been snoring at 10pm, but he married the wrong girl for that so like it or not he was out till 3!

We started the evening with a few hiccups, including a couple of closed restaurants and roads due to a burning car - local style fireworks! But the great thing was it turned into a totally impromptu evening.

I finally put a dress on (I think probably the only time in 2006), and with the help of my mate Shaz, got kitted out from head to toe for around $30 bucks!!
Ulli was also spiffed out, but I think we need to invest in a cheap iron for these infrequent occassions.

We started by crashing Martins evening swaree with the intentions of staying for a couple of glasses and an hour.
Pictured here with the lovely Shaz, a fab friend and fellow "old country" sistah.

and ended up toasting the New Year In!

Great fun, but it was time to .....

So we trotted off to Rays for a few hours of great music, dancing and champers. No photos of this - fortuanately - as we were not looking very attractive in the wee hours.
All photo credits go to Shaz, as we forgot our camera again! Thanks Shaz!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Holiday Swell

2006-12-30T20:47:00.001-08:00

Well the North Shore has been producing quite an abundance of waves, wind and all kinds of goodies. Surfing and windsurfing have been quite fun. I love it when I get 10 days off and Mother Nature cooperates. I love seeing a white out along the whole coast.

Standing on the lookout above Hookipa there were some nice sets.

But this set of knockers were the best of the day.

And now that I'm not a young whooper snapper anymore I'll have to agree with the shirt, "Old guys rule"

Mele Kalikimaka (2 Days Late)

2006-12-26T21:46:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year to all friends and family around the globe. We have been too busy surfing and partying to post anything sooner.

Photos from Sharon's fabulous Christmas Eve Party. You'll note that we look considerably more "chipper" a few days ago. We're gettin old on the party circuit!

Group photo of the usual suspects.

Ulli shows off his new shaka oven mitt.

Back Yards

2006-12-20T09:02:00.000-08:00

Winter like conditions are back on the north shore again, and that can only mean one thing ..... waves! Looks like we will be above the "Advisory Level" of 15 feet for the north shore from Thursday through Christmas Day!!! (WHOO HOOO - to quote Ely!) Here are some shots from our back yard spot, we love sailing here with our neighbors. It's a pretty funky place and takes a while to get used to. The waves are not as good as Ho'okipa so it keeps the crowds and pro sailors at bay.

It's also not a great place for taking pictures, like Ho'okipa, where you can really get some good close up shots from the bluff above the wave. See GP's blog for these! http://mauisurfreport.blogspot.com/
But anyway, these are good enough for a post I reckon.

Here I am letting out a fart coming out of this top turn. Unfortunately the picture was taken a few seconds toooo late, should have been where I went for the white water; but we'll put that down to the camera man having already consumed a few beers!

Ulli was behind the camera, because he was drinking beer after his new sail ripped! That's what happens when you sky big jumps in big surf. You can't always escape the munching white water!!

Pile of.....

2006-12-16T21:30:00.000-08:00

Saturday's windsurfing report of 15-30 mph winds can be summed up in one simple photo.

So after last weeks sessions of breaking gear and this week of shitty wind. I'm over it.

Chicks Rip

2006-12-10T21:42:00.000-08:00

Well the past few days were quite windy with some heavy surf. But that didn't mean I had a good time. The first day out I ripped my sail after 30 minutes and then the next day I broke my mast after 10 minutes out.
So I said F!%*k windsurfing.

Sunday was pretty heavy surf on the north shore.

So Michelle and I decided to trek down to Honolua Bay for the Billabong Pro. And let me tell you those chics rip!

The wave at the bay is one sick mother.

And the women were killing it as you can see.

The wavehog could only sit back, watch, and dream that her day will come.

island style

2006-12-04T08:48:00.000-08:00

Not too much going on over here. We had the smallest waves for a November since they started taking records (!), so we've practically painted the house. And... a couple of good nights out but without the camera. So, just going through some photos, we thought we would treat you to some "maui shots" from our (now) limited photo library.

This one is a classic Maui photo, rainbows are awesome here. I've seen a double and the beginnings of a triple whilst surfing.

Another over the sugar cane fields. Though a common sight, you can never get bored of it.

Look at these orchids, just sick!

Staying with the floral theme, this is a ginger plant. Beautiful color!

How about this silver sword on Haleakala. They only bloom once at the end of their life time, maturing from seed to flowering stage in about 15 - 50 years!!

Here it is in bloom.

And here's where they live ... could be the moon.

Feet or inches, does it matter?

This is a good one to finish with. We enjoyed some of the most stunning sunsets this past summer on the south side, with friends and a cold beer after a good day at the beach. Paradise!!

feet or inches??

2006-11-29T12:57:00.000-08:00

Our original forecast for today was 8-12 feet......

This is what we got ....... 8-12 inches!

I guess some swells just pass us by, or the forecasters are smoking too much weed. Anyway, had it have been the feet not the inches, these glassy conditions would have made for some killer rides.

Oh well, guess we have to wait for the next swell to hit (or miss!) tomorrow.

24 Feet of Pure Surfing Enjoyment

2006-11-26T22:03:00.000-08:00

Well it looks like Christmas came early this year. I just bought 3 new boards, 2 used and 1 fresh from the cannery. A Timpone 9'0'' longboard and 8'0'' gun, and a 7'0'' Kazuma classic. So Michelle is on the couch for the next few days so I can get to know my beauties a little more.

This photo is for Sharon. Its's funny that I didn't know you took almost the same shot that afternoon at Hookipa.

Beers on Wheels

2006-11-20T09:00:00.000-08:00

No meals here! Our mate "Aussie Matt" popped round for a beer ... Aussie Style!! We cracked open a new keg in the drive way and enjoyed a few cold ones. He had a few more stops to make on his "round" after our place.

... Apparently the final destination of this keg was a party the following evening. We did not attend, as we heard the beer (after a day in the back of Matt's truck!) was warm and foamy!!!

Wave Quota

2006-11-16T08:52:00.000-08:00

It's been an unusually flat November in Hawaii so far. I think we used up our wave quota in October. Anyway, luckily it's paradise and there are plenty of other activities to keep us entertained. Our friends originally from Park City, now living in Oahu came over for the weekend, so we decided to go into the Iao Valley to cool off on the swinging bridges trail.

The blury group shot. Our camera was not set right for the light for the whole hike (!) This is Ulli's fault as he named himself the official photographer of the trip.

This is Hula, our rent-a-dog (from the neighbors). She is the best, a model dog in every way!

Lisa & Jeff take on the swinging bridges, while Michelle & Ulli jump up and down at the other side in an attempt to bump them off.

Jeff is unphased by our feeble attempts.

The waterfall at the end of the official trail. We've hiked back into the boonies up the stream from here, climbing trees & rocks with a topo map and compass; with some other crazy friends. But we didn't have 8 hours to spare this time.

Photo Sharing - Upload Video - Video Sharing - Share Photos
The pool at the foot of the waterfall is always inviting, for a refreshing dip. Michelle bores everyone with her usual back flip. Yawn, seen it a million times aleady do something new.

Okay, Ulli redeemed himself with these creative shots....

We enjoy the beach almost every day, so it's good to refresh ourselves with the other beauties of Maui. Aloha!

Corr blimey luv..

2006-11-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

What a shiner!!

I just gave myself this a few hours ago ... No it was not Ulli still in the white trash mode from the other night!

My board gave me a scottish kiss right on the eyelid, totally missing my forehead, eyeball (thank god) and nose?! Even more bizarre is that it happened on my first measlie duck dive on a smallish day at Ho'okipa! I stayed out for a while in definance (and embarrasment!), until a guy told me to go an put ice on it becuase it was making his eyes water when he looked at me.

It's gonna look good tomorrow ... What a wanker!!

Bye Bye!

2006-11-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

Thanks to everyone who was able to vote, and did so. A change is long overdue!

White Trash Party

2006-11-05T23:29:00.000-08:00

What do you do on Maui when there are no waves or wind? You party.
Big Mike turned 34 on Saturday and it was reason for a celebration.

Hostess Twinkies and Ding-dongs all round

The event theme: White Trash. And everyone one was in top form.

Here is a scary family portrait.
Thank God I got out of South Carolina just in time or this could of been real.

Lightin up the grill South Carolina style

Here's my other girl (I beat her every now n' then)

Till her boyfriend came after me with a shot gun

Hangin out on the El Camino

Happy Birthday Mikey!! I think this baby's yours!!!

Black and Blue

2006-11-02T21:20:00.000-08:00

<
Just a reminder that with pleasure there is always pain.

Nothing like a sharp fin to the ass.

Just two days ago, I accidentally shot this little guy all the way into my thigh and by shear luck missed the bone.

So remember kids, don't forget to pay your health insurance.

Re-Nesting

2006-10-25T10:05:00.000-07:00

We are poor "posters" really; but we try to come up with ligitimate excuses for you. This time we are blaming it on the move.... and also we wiped out our entire photo collection off the computer the other day! So we only have boring photos to post. Well, as we are due a post and these are some of the only photos we have, I am going to try to string this together for you.....

We had our feathers ruffled this month because we had to move. Luckily we found a place very close by, and around the corner from the beach. So after our friend reffered us before the house went on the market; and we agreed to pay an outrageous amount of rent; and put lots of time, effort and money into doing it up free of charge, the owners "agreed" to rent the place to us. The price of living in pardise!!

Here's green fingers Big G (Ulli's mom) helping with the move and yard work on her vacation!

The front yard after a dump run and some walmart flowers! Still a work in progress.

We have a beautiful big tangerine tree though, so we'll be giving these away soon!

Shagged after another day of unpacking

Even the cat was in need of some R & R !

Happy 6.5 Earthquake Day!

2006-10-16T00:03:00.000-07:00

Get well post

2006-10-10T13:40:00.000-07:00

This post is dedicated to our friend GP http://mauisurfreport.blogspot.com/ who is currently injured with a bruised kidney from a surfing incident; and is trying to take (what one can only assume to be) a very painful dump. To make you feel better GP, we have some pictures especially for you. Not only should it lift your spirits (and other things too) but hopefully all this display of ass will get some movement in your own ass going!!

Ass #1

Ass #2

Ass #3

Choose your favorite and post it in the comments!!

P.S. - sorry, but Ulli's ass photo library was wiped with all the rest of our photo collection a few weeks ago. This is the beginning of his new collection.

Bitz does Maui

2006-10-03T11:04:00.000-07:00

This past couple of weeks has seen more action than usual. Aside from the first north swell, we've had the pleasure of "Bitz" visiting, Ulli's mom is still visiting, find new home, move to new home, clean new home, clean old home, work moved office and I'm sure there's a lot that I've forgot (luckily for you ... boring!!).

Anyway, this post is about Bitz's vacation, so let's introduce him properly.

Real name : Mark Crompton
Nick name : "Bitz" .... said best in a real southern accent
Occupation : Pilot for BA
Age : 25
Marital Status : Looking for a feeeeemale (preferably one that works for BA so I (sister) can keep my killer flying benefits)
No. of holidays this year to date : 5
No. of holidays to take this year : 2 more

Here he is ....

Although there was more furniture moving during his vacation than he intended, we still managed to get out and play. The surf was good on the south side for a while, so we have some video highlights to work on. Unfortunately no still pictures.

Other non house moving related activities included bamboo forest hike

and picking up the leptospirosis disease

Hiking Haleakala crater

With no conveniences and a brother armed with a camera!

Swatting flies at the driving range

And finishing off with a beach work out to impress the ladies.

12 days went way too fast, and we pulled into the departure lounge on 2 wheels, 45 minutes prior to flight departure! As I type, he's probably running to Asda to pick up a pack of 5 undies ready for his next trip. No time to do laundry in his fast paced world. So, if you are a "feeemale", taller than 8 inches and not hairy (insider joke, sorry) send your phone numbers on a post card to:

Mark Crompton
Surrey, England

Octoberfest

2006-09-28T19:23:00.000-07:00

Going through our my old emails the other day, I came across some "saved" ones with attachments. Luckily this was one of them. A few years old now, but still funny as hell! What a halloween party this was. We went to Ray's for a bender of a night. Hopefully he'll transform his home into a sub division of Ibiza again this year!

Halleujah!!!!!!!

2006-09-25T19:40:00.000-07:00

We are not religous, but need I say more, ...... here is our wave forecast for this week .....!!

"Outlook through Sunday Oct 1. A small northwest swell will arrive Wednesday. A larger northwest swell from former typhoon Yagi will produce surf on Friday approaching the 15 foot high surf advisory threshold for the north shore." Yeeeaaaahhh ....

Here's a photo from Jaws last year to wet your whistle! It won't be this big, but it will certainly be more than what we have had for the last few months on the north shore.

Crowded

2006-09-18T10:25:00.000-07:00

The south side was pumping out some decent waves yesterday, but the crowd was also pretty heavy. You sometimes got the feeling you weren't the only one on the wave.

For a taste of the action (if you have time to spare) check out GP's blog and his new toy.
http://mauisurfreport.blogspot.com/

Over the falls

2006-09-15T20:51:00.001-07:00

A surfing term used when one eats it over the lip of the wave. There was quite a bit of this going on down in Hana last weekend. I think we'll put it down to fatigue, not poor technique.

Champion British body surfers Michelle & Ian take on the Hamoa "Lip"

Ian goes for the barrel, and not the beer variety

Unknown Unfortunate gets hammerd

GP - does he make it out the backdoor???

Michelle is still digging sand out of her ass from this one. A small beach break packing a powerful punch.

A view from the inside

Mad Dogs & Englishmen

2006-09-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

Hana Relay Part 1 - the race

Sorry for the absence of posts lately, we've been busy in the fun department. Last weekend we had a blast running to Hana. The Hana relay takes place every year on Maui, and teams of 6 people gather to run from Kahului to Hana, this was the 35th annual race. Here are the stats (thanks to the free t-shirt we received detailing them) : 52 miles, 617 curves in the road, 56 bridges and this year 113 teams - 700 people! The Kenyans finished in 4 hours, 40 minutes. We were just slightly behind at 7 hours 6 minutes.

The Mad Dogs and Englishmen team proudly represented by a bunch on non running drunks, the worst offender being our team captain "Danny Keevil", managed to "pull it out of our arses" (almost literally see pics below) for the second year in a row. With the only training being last year's race, we were in fine form!!

Warming up or waking up? It's 6am and these muscles have not seen this much action since last year!

The Athletes benefitting from a nutritional beer

Danny brought his beer belly along for the ride

The essential items were stocked in the cooler, and easily at hand.

Having lost the baton before the start line last year, we were not about to make the same mistake again!

The Pink ladies were hot! Greg takes every opportunity to get together with the girls. Fancy dress is optional, and some teams really went to town!

As Ulli completes his leg, Danny takes on the toughest section of the race. 3.3 miles of uphill turns - Leg 13.

We were ready to administer CPR, but he didn't even puke!! Though he didn't look good for a while.

We finished 44th, not bad considering the source! We were too shagged to take any pictures at the finish line but we should have a group shot by the next post. Needless to say, none of us have been able to walk for days, and a flight of stairs is totally out of the question.

These are just the day's highlights. The eveing party deserves another post. For a preview check out Shazza's blog and stay tuned. We will get our shit together shortly! http://www.kinel.blogspot.com/

Maui's Burning

2006-09-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

Long weekend here and happy as shit about the short work week ahead, we took off to enjoy some waves on the south side. With everything packed on the "wave (not path) finder" we cruized over Maui style.

We heard about the brush fire burning on the south side, but didn't realise how bad it was until we arrived at the war scene from "nam".

We pulled over with all the other rubber neckers to check out the fine, free of charge, airshow. There were 8 choppers in all, including 2 double bladed big buggers and a black hawk, dumping water on the flames on the west maui mountains.

The little yellow dudes were nimble and were refilling their buckets from paddling pools at the foot of the moutains. There was often a traffic jam and some close calls! The big guys had to go all the way out to sea to pick up their tiny bucket of water, it was painful to watch the process for one tiny bucket of water!

In total about 4000 acres burned in 3 days. The fire dept are still out monitoring the hot spots..... but what a cool job!!

Creature Feature

2006-09-02T21:50:00.000-07:00

Whilst sitting at the computer the other day, this little booger crawled across my feet .... man did I freak out!

How did I catch him? With the emergency home centipede kit. Every Maui household should have one of these. An air pistol, BBQ tongues and my wife's bikini bottoms.

Wide Angle

2006-08-31T10:25:00.000-07:00

When I am out surfing, Ulli has a lot of time to pass while waiting patiently on the beach (!). A good time to get in touch with his creative side, behind the lens. (He's also bullshitting with friends and drinking beer of course .... perhaps this is why these shots are so good?). Anyway, here's a different perspective to the usual beach or ocean shot. Nice pics Ulli!

Concrete Waves

2006-08-23T00:00:00.000-07:00

Hoping for a bit of southerly action (of the wave variety) we hopped over to Honolulu for a 3 day weekend.

We were ready for the big city, big lights and big waves ......

But the only tubes around were of the concrete variety.

This would have been a beauty if it was 6 foot and not inches.

So Michelle took us on a death march up to the Koolau Mountains, just below the cloud line as you can see in the picture

After 2 miles in the wrong direction, and 2000 feet later .... Ulli was over it.

But we sqeezed in some R & R on the north shore at Waimea Bay. Who could belive that this shore break in the winter could swallow your house!!!

Finally, we'll finish with another sunset in the Hawaiian Islands.

Cheers Dave!

2006-08-17T10:09:00.000-07:00

I got a cool surprise the other day. A friend of mine mentioned that she saw pictures of me surfing " on that day a few weeks ago" on a wave forecast site. She recognised me on one or two pictures. I tracked down the photgrapher and he was very cool. He sent me the shots, enhanced (trimmed butt, bigger boobs ..... just kidding guys, he just cropped the pictures not me sorry) and originals. I've loaded a variety on this post, though I have reduced the quality a bit, (double click on the pictures for full size). He is willing to take pictures if it goes off again for a donation to his tripod fund, if you are interested contact Dave at schultzdave@gmail.com. I am totally stoked with my pictures Dave, thanks again!

Here's a sequence of me getting "dropped in" on; it's common at this place. The guy apologised when I got out of the water, he said I was getting plenty of waves, so he didn't feel too bad. Maybe, but right where he dropped in, I really wanted to hit the lip, that would have made this good ride a killer one, and probably would have been the best picture in the sequence. A good lesson though for those of you who drop in. In this photo it looks like he is giving me room, but actually he is sitting right in my sweet spot. Anyway what the hell, I'm stoked.

Finally heading for a closeout on this one.

Here is the link to the other shots that evening www.mauiskye.com/surf/dumps

The Braided Bunch

2006-08-13T21:13:00.000-07:00

Poli Poli national park hosted this Sunday's entertainment..... Frisbee Golf. Never heard of it? Neither had we. Anyway our buddy Joey plays regularly and took us through the course. Throwing a frisbee into a basket seemed like it would be a piece of cake (but being able to throw a frisbe is a general requirement). After hitting several brush, shrubs, trees and rough we decided not keep to score but to concentrate on not loosing the frisbes.

Braides were the other requirement of the day, and Ulli was game.

Mr Big wanted to play too.

Tee-ing up at the launching pad. Lisa and Ulli discuss techniques.

Ulli takes another long drive into some thick bush.

Although stunning senery, the course was a bitch.

And Michelle spent much of her time in the rough

But 11 year old Skylar showed us how it's done.

The day ended with good friends enjoying dinner at Polli's.

Party Central

2006-08-10T09:45:00.000-07:00

This past weekend hosted a bevy of birthday bashes. Fiona turned 30, and all hell broked loose in her small apartment, with the blender firing out margaritas faster than speedy gonzalez. The theme was "Fiona is 30 and still hot", hence the red attire. There was an awesome moonbow that sobered everyone up for 10 minutes, but not surprisingly it was not caught on camera.

The civilised early evening shot.

Every good party should look like this in the morning.

To cure the hangover we went to the beach where Super "D" was hosting his 2nd annual birthday beach bash. Every year these guys think of something new to entertain their crowd, and this year was no execption. They picked up a rubber ring from sports authority (usually towed behind a speed boat), attached a tow rope to the harness of a kiter and pumped up a big kite. Who needs a speed boat?? Brilliant!! The very talented and obliging kiter "Wes" must have turned out 20 downwind trips, to the delight of his excited riders.

A ride involved "walking" upwind (later evolving into "driving" to the next up wind beach) for maximum down wind speed.

When Wes hit the gas, it was time to hold on .....

.... because there was no mercy. He looked for every jump he could find whilst firing downwind at top speed.

The "Pinz" was waiting to pick us up down wind at the end of the beach.

Errr ... where the f*** is reverse??

It's all about me

2006-08-07T19:39:00.000-07:00

It seems that this post was going to be about me again (yawn, boring) so I am going to do a weekly "guest post" on Ulli's blog. I should just bloody get my own eh? Can't be bothered, it's that attraction of someone else's "thing" ... always better than your own I guess.

Well, another good weekend in paradise...... I entered the Hookipa to Paia paddle race and won the women's stand up division. Must have been the tequila training from the night before ???? For $20 entrance fee, I scored more loot than I could have imagined, the prizes must have been worth at least $200. Time to get in training for the next family event (figure these are the only competitions that I have a chance of winning!!)

Racers making their way to the start.

My cute, trusty (hungover) photographer made several stops along the course to catch some snaps.

The dash to the finish line, and the beer tent.

This was a really fun relaxed event (enhanced by some killer prizes, free food, drinks and raffle) I recommend it to everyone for next year!!

Curtains for Michelle

2006-08-02T23:58:00.000-07:00

The best day of summer surfing so far deserves another posting, and this time by guest writer "the wavehog wife". Because I have such a devoted (??) husband, I have my first pictures of surfing dumps (my favourite surfing spot on Maui) and even a little video to share with you. The commentary by some random guys on the rocks makes it even more interesting as they clearly think I'm a "dude". I got shut down, unlike Ulli who got his best monster barrel ..... Anyway, thanks again Ulli for snapping these shots.... I guess I owe you? You and Sharon should go into competition to see who can take the best picture of me on a wave ;-) ... okay just joking (??)

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And, I am going to add the other two pictures for more self glorification......

Stoked out of the wazoo!

2006-08-01T23:15:00.000-07:00

Well, I have to say today was a damn fine day. Michelle went to Dumps early this morning and I couldn't get my tired sore ass out of bed. She calls me on the way back and says she got some of the sickest waves of the summer. So she gets back and I head down after her. Now let me explain some stuff without boring my viewers too much. I have driven to Dumps many a time in the last 5 years. It's quite a way by Maui standards. I've been skunked a lot, it's crowded as shit most all of the time, people drop in on you most all of the time so my attitude wasn't quite positive.

Well I got some of the biggest sets I could handle. Got more waves in one session than all of the 5 years of going there combined. There was no crowd and I got shacked like I've never been shacked before. Without a doubt one of the top 3 waves to date today.

So I'm stoked as shit. It's amazing what one silly wave can do to you.

The Wavehog got her fair share of waves even with 33 people out.

It doesn't count as a barrel unless you get your ass in there too.

The inside guys were killing it.

Hey Deb, there are other ways to meet guys.

Southside Delivers

2006-07-31T00:40:00.000-07:00

Well it has been a damn fun few days on the Southside especially Thousand Peaks. Lots of great waves and great friends just hanging out and surfing.

Will it be curtains for Michelle?

Everyones favorite inside girl and surf photographer giving us a cheeky smile.

Everyones favorite Italian waterman going backside.